Amber Benson @ The Essence of Amber

amber says:
(Thu May 4 01:16:04 2000 172.131.234.204)
Thank you guys sooooo much. I feel a lot better. I talked to Joss today and he told me about the whole sexual preference CONTROVERSY thing, but neglected to mention the tara bashing stuff. I went online to see what was up and was just flabbergasted, ya know? I guess I'm still a big kid 'cause it stung. thanks for the cheer up Kenickie and Crimson and the rest of you guys. I guess I needed a little drool. Well, i'm gonna hit the hay. Thanks again. You late night babes (all of you!) are definitely my type.
amber says:
(Thu May 4 01:06:05 2000 172.131.234.204)
You "hottie" guys are good for a lesbian witches ego. And a very tired, worn out from work actress's ego, as well.
amber says:
(Thu May 4 01:02:54 2000 172.131.234.204)
Krazykat, tell little willow I'm sorry I missed her on the board tonight. She and I have been trading emails about the site. It would have been cool to talk in real time.
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:58:37 2000 172.131.234.204)
It's so strange to know that I met a number of you at the posting board party. There were soo many wonderful people there and I had such a great time. I hope Tara stays sweet and nice and witchy. I hope people realize it's only a show and there's no need to be up in arms over the homosexual content. Love is beautiful whether it's between a man and a woman or any variant of that combo ( man and man woman and woman demons and ADAM)
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:51:14 2000 172.131.234.204)
It's hard not to feel fat in this business. But I just want everyone to know that the girls I work with are SUper nice. Very supportive and they don't look as skinny in real life. I just ahve bigger boobs ;)
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:44:19 2000 172.131.234.204)
I keep trying the color thing. Sooooo frustrating. Just a ditz, i guess:) You guys are so sweet out there. you make me wanna cry... I'm still waiting for the all gay, all naked ep next season. Grips and all. But you guys are gonna LUV the finale. It's sooooo cool. Can't tell any more, but it was FUN to shoot!
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:40:23 2000 172.131.234.204)
Little Willow rocks. She's done A+ job on my website. Hellos to Icelord and everyone else I've met and talked to. You're not a stalker. I feel like the cheap, fake stalker not being in color. But oh well. Oh and ask anyone about the massive sunburn I got working on the finale. Ouch!
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:35:54 2000 172.131.234.204)
Last time I was here I lambasted myself with the whole New Kids On the Block thing. I am SOOO happy to be me and look the way I look. I just don't want anyone else out there to feel bad about that stuff. It's so trivial. Still don't know what was up with the hiding under the bed thing, but Joss is the Man and he will let us all know in due time. <<
amber benson says:
(Thu May 4 00:30:56 2000 172.131.234.204)
Gonna try my full name. But oh well, don't I feel like a heel. It just hurt my feelings soooooo much to read all that. I can deal with people not liking Tara (it's a given especially after the whole OZ going away and me taking his place thing), but the mean comments... Not a strong stomach, I guess. I just want everyone to know that what you look like doens't matter. It's what's inside (cliche, I know).
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:26:53 2000 172.131.234.204)
once again. Then I quit and just say what I feel.
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:15:42 2000 172.131.234.204)
I have read the WONDERFUL, DEAR things people have said. I APPRECIATE them mucho.
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:13:32 2000 172.131.234.204)
If the color thing doesn't work. I really don't care. It's not important.
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:10:14 2000 172.131.234.204)
One more time
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:07:49 2000 172.131.234.204)
can't make the stupid color thing work
amber says:
(Thu May 4 00:00:30 2000 172.131.234.204)
I've been thinking a lot about what people said about Tara on the internet after the last episode aired. At first, I was very hurt. I tried to disassociate myself from feeling bad by saying: This is Tara that they are talking about, not me. But I couldn't. I guess it hurts when someone calls you ugly or makes nasty comments about your weight whether or not it is really YOU they are referring to. I am just a human being and I feel like I deserve to be treated as such. I also feel that Tara deserves to be treated with a little more kindness and compassion. Yes, I am not a STICK. I am a NORMAL, HEALTHY (I was gonna say Girl, but...) WOMAN. I have breasts and hips and I am very happy that they are part of me. I weigh 118 and I am 5'4". If you saw me in real life, you would think I was on the thin side. But on tv, next to my very petite costars, I do like heavier. I am PROUD to be NORMAL. A body is a beautiful thing to waste. Believe me, I have seen enough of my friends and peers waste away to NOTHING so that they could work in this industry. So that they could perpetuate the LIE that ANOREXIA is Beautiful. IT IS NOT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. ALL OF YOU. Just for being. You all can judge me and Tara for being 'fat', 'gay' and 'shy'. I suppose that my being on tv gives you that right. But I DO NOT have to read what you say. I have enjoyed being a lurker. But my feelings just can't take the criticism. Those of you (you know who you are) with sensitivity will understand. Thank you for sticking up for us. Tara and I both appreciate it. I think that being a beautiful, heavy, lesbian witch rocks! No matter what happens I'm glad I get the chance to walk in Tara's shoes. All you girls and guys out there who think that starving, binging and purging and exercising yourself to DEATh is gonna change how you feel inside-- It's NOT. Don't buy inot all the media crap. Love yourself for who you are, not what others THINK you should look like. It's DEFINITELY more important in this life to love each other despite our imperfections. I hope this works. Still not sure how to do this whole posting thing...